CRY, CRY, CRY Part-II: When I cried.

... Why the society has abandoned and criminalized that even GODS couldn’t resists???

An evening... kids were chanting “beat him”. The other half of the lot was screaming “break his nose...”. But in the spiritual zone of fist fighting, it was only me and him. The moment of singularity everything else blurred. We jumped on each other like two male pumas fighting for a female puma to establish their vigor.

Punch after punch, punt after punt, jolts and blows were exchanged. When the sky couldn’t take it anymore it threw us on the lap of mother earth. We fell like two angles proving to be the best servant of god in the kingdom of heaven and we continued to fight on the muddy mortal pavement.

The Perpetual exchange of power. Our pride and honor, the truthfulness of our words, our manhood was solely depended on this valiant encounter. The winner shall live with honor, a life of praise and worthiness shall embellish his future. The looser on the contrary shall be buried beneath the shame of defeat and shall walk guilty of the untrustworthiness with a badge of liar.

Yes, he got better of me after few minutes of fight which felt like eons but I didn’t gave up. Although the god of strength and the goddess of triumph about to abandon me, something unexpected happened. A strong but kind force separated us from further pulverization. They were the hands of sanity. They were the hands of a mother who would slap her own child to end the bloody bout of manly passion.

My eyes were mushy again, my weak legs were frozen, my body hurt from the violent act and veins were shooting to the moon. But I didn’t cried. She was scolding her own blood regardless the possibility that I could very much be the cause of the nonsense that was happening few moments ago. I saw her soft hands comforting and stroking gently her bruised son and the same time her motherly voice teaching and calming my adversary.

My neck was too stiff from the joust with her son. I couldn’t be able to saw above her arms. I couldn’t saw her face properly that’s why I can’t describe her. I don’t remember her face but she was tall and study and probably wearing short hair. That’s all I can remember and a vague image in my mind getting dingier with time.

During all this time I was clasping my teary outburst and preparing for some more fury which was to be coming from his mother. I strength my shield further to restrain the weak men’s expression. Then she turned to me and walked a few steps closer to me. Unexpectedly she spread her arms and invited me to her motherly embrace. “Come, its okay! Nobody will hurt you” she called me by her motherly articulation with a comforting smile.

This act of care and forgiveness exposed my flanks and made me vulnerable to express my graved feelings. I didn’t sob, I exploded into tears as I nestled with her and she gently but firmly wrapped her arms around me. There I was, a short boy pressed against the breasts of somebody else’s mother... weeping.

I let it all go. Now nothing was stopping my emotions to flow free. No embarrassment, no restriction, no prejudice, no preconceived opinions, no pride, no honor and no sadness.

And...

Cry, I cry and I cry like never before.

CRY, CRY, CRY Part-I: Thou shall not cry

Cry, I cry and I cry like never before.

I don’t remember when I’d first unleash the sobbing beast, probably when I was born. Or not because when I was born I was too weak to even breathe... but that’s another story. I‘ll tell it some other time.

I was in my age of innocence, busy in making others laugh while enjoying myself unintentionally. The self interest in this act came way late. I was good but not in a social sort of way. Shyness and slyness together were my apt virtue and was diversely vulnerable to both situational and mean abuses.

I always played strong and calm because my mother always told me that “son, don’t take part in any ruckus, don’t be in a fight, don’t be naughty, don’t be a bad boy”. So there I was trying not to be a bad boy. Pretending to be strong with a dreadful and fragile inlying.

Sometimes kids of my age and beyond inflicted misery on me but I remained strong, I didn’t cry. My voice was quivering and my veins were frenzied, my eyes were serous, my spirit is anemic but still... I didn’t cry.

The police, the civil force of scaffolding education were embarking there self-appointed feudal authority by all savage ways to make me like them. They did succeed I guess, not understanding my state of mind a bit, didn’t try to see through me what I was.

Withal I didn’t cry. My legs were defunct, my hairs were stiff, and a lagoon has separated my transparent vision from my eyes. But It didn’t broke into tears, maybe I wasn’t afraid, may be people saw me crying but in my reality I wasn’t.

I didn’t cry because we were always taught that weeping is for weak, miserable, pathetic and women. I don’t want to be called weak or pathetic. It was the fear of being derelict from the society ruled by alpha men.

I didn’t want to be strangulated by the embarrassment that would come after this act of pure expressiveness. Nor I wanted to be called by derogatory names. “A girl could do better then you” of course she can, if she is better she can. So what if she is from the presumptive weaker section of gender. “You are a disgrace, a coward” “what a pussy”. No I didn’t wanted to be identified by those phrases, nor did I want a badge of these ever humiliating qualities upon my chest.

‘For the love of my unknown, imaginary repute I won’t cry.’

Is crying that wrong???
One of the most natural displays of sadness and relief one can express.
Is it that bad???
Why didn’t they let me cry??? ...

In rabble

Flowed in the flock like a gliding stream of an ocean, so smooth, so swift.
In control but very violent
and the only thing you've to do is nothing.
Do not resist, do not fight
just 'let go'
and
Then...
I kiss stability in a quake.

DUMB

There are 2 types of people in the world.
One who can talk and the others who are dumb.
Dumb men saw the people with tongue
And fantasize their selves as them.
This talking community saw the desperation in these dumb people's eyes and their behavior.
They saw you as their prey so they can start to make you their by-products for their own fame.
Now they seek their living out of your dumbness.
They then approach to you and make you feel insecure by showing off their immense opulence of talent which makes u believe that you’re really dumb?
And by this extravagant performance they make you dumbstruck.
You became dumbfound by this superiority and started to believe more than ever that you’re the most pathetic piece of shit in this world and only these ‘talkers’ can help you.
That’s the point when the talkers make the "dumb-O" out of your dumb-ass.
You dumb!
These contrived voluptuaries they arise inside make you beg to be like them.
And they promises that they will make u talk, but it isn’t gonna happen, what is actually going to happen is this - that by the most benevolent style they make you their apprentice and get the fucking money out of your dumb -asses.and when u think that they had taught you how to talk, they tell you that you’re ready to sing. But you aren’t talking fellas! The words coming out of your mouth are their words your lips are just mimicking them, you became nothing but just a fucking puppet of own insecurity. You have gained no voice you've just become dumber!

mine and yours, thats all

i need only pure water,
fresh air
and food
nothing else is necessary
but you.
no one can deprive me of that
because no one owns it.
its for me,
its for us.
mine and
yours
thats all
for a husk.

WATER

TODAY I read the report by central pollution control board on water quality and waste water management and it was very depressing. The synopsis of the report is actually the surrender of the water pollution controlling authority to central government.

Out 64 pages of the report only 6 pages are positively written and willing to provide certain solutions. Rests of the pages are just a harsh display of helplessness and untactful strategy (negative criticism) of government's ill management and lack of vision, Though the name of the report was water quality and waste water management Vision 2012-2017.

Here are some facts in the report:

• There is only 3% of fresh water (i assume that you know this).
• An optimum monitoring network (for monitoring rivers, lakes, pounds, ground water etc) should have 10000 stations, currently we have 1700.

The highly polluted phrase is used after every two pages.
There are 150 river stretches in the country out of which 50 have level 1 (out of 5 priority levels)priority pollution. That's 1/3 of rivers high on a BOD (biochemical oxygen demand) chart which is the cause for water borne diseases (like diarrhea which kills most of the children) spreading bacteria and microorganisms. 

Higher concentration of total dissolved solid and micro pollutants are
detected in pockets.
• Coliform bacteria, which are indicator of fecal contamination, are also detected in aquifers of urban centers.
• Presence of α-BHC, endosulphan and methoxychlor pesticides in ground water of the metropolitan cities is observed but their content are well within the permissible limits for drinking water.
• Presence of pesticides in ground water attributed to their use in vector control programmes and agricultural activities.

Parameters in ground water exceeding permissible limit in the absence of alternate source has been considered as ground water quality hotspots.
Parametric Limits (Bureau of Indian Standards for drinking water)
Electrical Conductivity (>750 and >3000 micromhos/cm)
Chloride (<250 mg/l)
Fluoride (>1.5 mg/l)
Iron (>1.0 mg/l)
Arsenic (>0.05 mg/l)
Nitrate (>45 mg/l)

Waste water management in urban areas is worse than that of rural areas.
 This country can no longer afford to allow urban areas constituting cities and towns of varying magnitude to take care of themselves.
 Urban Centres in India lack infrastructure for sanitation.
 The wastewater generated in Urban Centres are not managed appropriately.
 Inadequate treatment facilities for sewage have deteriorated the water quality of aquatic resources.
 They need the full and undivided attention of our planners and decision makers for protection of environment, aquatic resources and ultimately for better management of health aspects.

The latest study indicate that about 38000 million litre per day (mld) is the wastewater generation from 921 urban cities, Out of which Class I(423) Cities and Class II (498)Towns in India that houses more than 70% of urban population(class I=187 mn, class II=37.5 mn)

 About 11700 mld is the municipal wastewater treatment capacity developed so far in India that account for about 31% of wastewater generation in these two classes of urban centres.

IN METROPOLITAN CITIES, classI cities, classII towns HAS
SEWAGE GENERATION is 15644, 35558, 2696 and  mld respectively
and TREATMENT CAPACITY is 8040, 11553,  234 mld respectively
i.e, only 51% ,32% and 8% respectively.

About 11700 mld is the municipal wastewater treatment capacity developed so far in India that account for about 31% of wastewater generation in urban centers.

Performence of STP's(sewage treatment plant)
• Lack of Funds.
• Power failures disrupting operations.
• Lack of Operation & maintenance.
• Lack of good laboratories.
• Lack of proper conveyance channels.
• Un-skilled operators.
• Effluent not complying with standards.
• Not able to remove fecal coliform.

Its not like that we don't have solutions, infact we have many of them like removal of fecal coliform by UV radiation, oxidation, chlorination and biological(becteriophages) etc.
for more details go to http://www.indiawaterportal.org/channels/drinking-water.

But the thing is, that there is no initiative from the government and the reason stated above are the proof of it. The scarcity of water projected by our government is the mirror to the futuristic suffering of people for fresh drinking water and if the steps will not be taken then the end is inevitable.